Introduction
Angus Kirk explores the unique financial and emotional pressures faced by individuals in midlife — often supporting both parents and children while planning for their own future. We work with clients in this life stage every day, helping them navigate competing demands with confidence, clarity, and care.
Caught in the Middle: The Financial Strain of the Sandwich Generation
If you’re in your 40s or 50s and feeling stretched in every direction, you’re not alone. So-called “midlifers” — those aged between 40 and 60 — are facing a perfect storm of financial and time pressures. Many are simultaneously supporting grown-up children, caring for ageing parents, and trying to prepare for their own retirement. It’s an emotionally complex and financially demanding stage of life. And without a plan, it’s all too easy to neglect your own future in the process.
According to a report by Legal & General, 6 million midlifers in the UK are now providing financial support to adult children or elderly relatives — or both — while still navigating their own career, mortgage, and retirement goals. That’s a heavy load to carry.
The research revealed:
- 17% of midlifers financially support another adult — equating to £10 billion a year.
- Parents supporting adult children give an average of £247 per month.
- Those helping elderly parents or other relatives contribute £282 per month, on average.
- Age 45 is when financial responsibility tends to peak.
- Age 58 is when care responsibilities most commonly begin.
It’s no surprise that many people in this demographic feel overwhelmed — emotionally, logistically, and financially.
Why Midlife Pressures Are More Than Just Financial
It’s natural to want to help those you love — whether it’s covering rent for a child trying to get on the property ladder or stepping in to support an elderly parent who’s unwell. But what happens when that support starts to feel unsustainable? Legal & General’s research found that 1 in 10 midlifers already feel the level of help they’re providing can’t be maintained. And yet, many continue to sacrifice their own wellbeing — financial and otherwise — out of a sense of duty, guilt, or simply lack of time to assess alternatives. The risk is that your own goals get quietly pushed to the bottom of the list. Retirement may seem far off when you’re 40, but the choices you make now could define the quality of life you experience in your later years. This is where financial planning can play a transformative role.
Making Room for Your Own Goals — Without Abandoning Your Responsibilities
A bespoke financial plan isn’t about telling you to stop helping your family. It’s about helping you do it sustainably — without compromising your future in the process. For example, if you’re supporting adult children with rent, your planner can help you explore whether gifting a deposit for a property might be a more cost-effective and long-term solution. It could reduce their monthly outgoings, create more stability, and ultimately be less of an ongoing financial drain for you. Or if you’re providing care for an elderly parent, your plan might help you assess whether paying for a part-time carer or daily check-in service is viable. Not only could this relieve some emotional pressure, but it also creates a more consistent support structure for your loved one.
“It’s not about choosing between yourself and your family. A good financial plan helps you find the balance — so that support for others doesn’t come at the cost of your own security or peace of mind.”
— Shadi Kirk, Independent Financial Planner, Transform FP
Making the Invisible Visible: The Role of Cashflow Modelling
One of the challenges for midlifers is that financial support often creeps in gradually — a small payment here, a one-off contribution there — until it quietly becomes a significant monthly commitment. Cashflow modelling brings that into focus. By mapping your income, expenditure, assets, and goals over time, we can show you:
- Whether your current financial support is sustainable
- How it impacts your long-term retirement prospects
- Whether you can afford to redirect resources
- What trade-offs you might need to consider
Armed with this information, decisions no longer need to feel reactive or guilt-driven. You can approach them with calm, clarity, and confidence.
Time Poverty: The Hidden Cost of Midlife Responsibilities
It’s not just your bank balance under strain — it’s your diary. The same study found that 25% of midlifers get less than one hour to themselves per day, and 19% spend no time at all on their financial wellbeing. This lack of time can make it harder to deal with even basic financial admin — let alone to plan for your future. That’s why many people in this life stage benefit not only from strategic advice, but from outsourcing the mental load of money management. Working with a financial planner can reduce the amount of time you need to spend on paperwork, pension tracking, or investment research. We’ll ensure the essentials are handled — and that your plan continues to evolve as life changes.
“Time is the scarcest resource for most midlifers. Our job is to take the complexity off their plate — and give them the confidence that their future is still on track, even when life feels chaotic.”
— Shadi Kirk
From Juggling to Journeying: How Financial Planning Restores Balance
Financial planning isn’t just about managing your money. It’s about managing your life — your priorities, your time, your future. With a tailored financial plan, you can:
- Balance short-term responsibilities with long-term goals
- Support family in smarter, more strategic ways
- Plan for retirement without feeling guilty or selfish
- Free up headspace to focus on what matters most
- And perhaps most importantly, you regain a sense of control.
When you’re caught in the middle — raising children, caring for parents, and working full-time — it’s easy to lose sight of your own journey. A financial plan gently re-centres you. It reminds you that your future matters too.
Conclusion: You Deserve a Plan That Includes You
Midlife is often referred to as the “sandwich generation” — squeezed from both sides. But with the right support, you don’t have to be stuck. A well-crafted financial plan can help you:
- Navigate today’s demands
- Make room for your goals
- Create space in your calendar and your mind
- And ultimately, build a future where you and your loved ones can thrive
Let’s Make Time for You
If you’re feeling stretched and unsure how to prioritise your finances, we’re here to help. At Transform FP, we specialise in helping midlifers find clarity, balance, and a renewed sense of control. Let’s talk about how we can support your journey — so you can support others without losing yourself in the process. Get in touch today to book a friendly, no-obligation consultation.
Important disclaimer: This article is for general information only and does not constitute financial advice. The information is aimed at retail clients only. The value of your investment can go down as well as up and you may not get back the full amount you invested. Past performance is not a reliable indicator of future performance. The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate estate planning, tax planning, or will writing. We recommend that you speak to a qualified financial planner for advice tailored to your individual circumstances and goals.
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